Addiction and Anger - Own One, Control the Other

Addiction is as most people already know a disease. One which is not curable but can be treatable. The substance(s) we choose are but one small part of the illness, there are many things that effect, increase and support our addiction. Owning personal responsibility for each thing that affects our illness removes the blame and denial. Here I will address just a couple of these issues briefly. Things which I have struggled with personally and can say that I have trained myself to the point where they, while still present in my life no longer control actions or decisions causing me to use.

Lets discuss one of the most predominate emotional excuse makers of any addict recovering or active-anger. I used to continually blame my anger on a source, such as a person, place or thing. My thought (and statement) used to be, They really made me angry when they said or did that. Today I have learned that if I consciously accept responsibility for my anger that I no longer can use it as an excuse to stay angry and let it grow into something dysfunctional. My statement now is-(What di I do to allow that person or incident to make me angry. Its not about someone or something else its about me. Even if someone or something is totally wrong in how it affects me I am the one who is allowing it to affect me.

If you think this idea is bogus I challenge you to try it out, not for one day or a week but for a long enough period of time that it becomes almost automatic. I think you find so much relief from the stress and game playing it will give you enough freedom to work on other aspects of your life. And guess what? The same process works with anything we do. Own responsibility for yourself and you will stop being responsible for others burdens we have enough of our own. Simply said difficult to do, but if you truly want to embrace recovery it is necessary.

Also, remember in the process of seeking freedom from the slavery of addiction we will all fail and make mistakes. It is not the mistake that is made thats important it is what we do afterward that is important. The true definition of insanity is making the same mistake over and over again and expecting a different result. So at least attempt to make the next mistake different from the last one.

One last little thing this time around, we all have problems big and small and addicts love to let great big piles of them gang up on us all at once. Here is a simple philosophy that could help you if you will apply it to your life. Now is all there is, it was now five minutes ago it will be now five minutes from now. How many problems can you have in that one brief instant of time called now? Only one deal with it!

John Fisher is a Consultant, Educator, Trainer, and Speaker in the Safety and Health Industry. He is also a Pastor and is recovering from addiction. jfisher1948@centurytel.net

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